Caring More While Caring Less

Over our many years of helping people find solutions we have seen a common stumbling block that has tripped people up and held them back from reaching their potential. That stumbling block is fear: fear of rejection, which can lead to fear of people. 

It’s very normal to want people to accept what you are doing, sharing, or offering. This desire for approval can lead to fear of rejection, criticism, or judgment. These potential negative results can lead to overthinking, resulting in stress and anxiety. In turn, this anxiety often causes people to avoid important conversations and interactions, which only perpetuates the cycle of fear and overthinking. Sound familiar? 

We have found and personally experienced a powerful solution to break free from this cycle and move forward without fear of rejection or judgment: Care More While Caring Less. While it might sound contradictory, it truly works!

Understanding F.E.A.R.

First, let’s talk about fear. You may have heard that F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. We totally agree with that. Fear only exists in your mind and most of the time fear lies to you about the reality of a situation. There’s no doubt that fear is a powerful emotion, but it’s just that—an emotion. It often comes from not knowing how something will turn out or the anxiety of trying something new.  

Fear is a very selfish emotion. It is 100% about you and how you feel. Please don’t take that the wrong way. We are not pointing a finger at you saying it is all your fault that you are fearful about something. But, if you can understand that it starts with you, then you will hopefully see how you can get past your fears. 

So, the choice is yours! 

Will you make it all about you and have (F.E.A.R.) Forget Everything And Run? 

Or will you learn to make it all about others and have (NO F.E.A.R.) Face Everything And Rise? 

By applying the two steps below, you can conquer your fears and rise above them.

Care More

Caring more means leading with your heart. We all know how good it feels when someone shows genuine interest and care for us. If you want to truly connect with others, extend that same level of attention and care to them. Remember that people don’t care what you know, until they know that you care.  

Let’s talk about where fear of rejection comes from. Fear of rejection comes from desiring approval or acceptance. The question is why do you want them to be interested in what you are sharing? Why are you seeking their approval? So you can benefit or so they can benefit? Do you want something from someone or do you want something good for someone? 

If you want something from someone, then you can be rejected. They can say no to you, so fear of rejection can exist. Because it’s all about benefiting you. On the other hand if you make it all about them and wanting something good for them, if they aren’t interested in what you are sharing, then they are just saying no to themselves. They can’t reject you, because it’s not about you. They are saying no thank you, it’s not for me. And of course that is fine. Because you are not wanting anything from them, it’s totally fine if they don’t want what you are offering. 

Everything will change for you when you change why you are sharing what you are sharing. Simply stop wanting something from someone, like their acceptance or approval and start wanting something good for someone, like for them to benefit from what you are sharing.  

This simple change of going from selfish to selfless will change everything. If you want something good for someone and nothing from someone, fear of rejection can’t exist. Fear of rejection can only exist if you are seeking approval.  

So simply said, stop making what you do or what you offer about you. Make it about making a difference for others. Not everyone will be interested in what you are sharing or offering and that is ok. On to the next person to help and serve with the positive benefits that you have to offer. 

Remember that there is only one way to find out if someone is interested in what you have to offer, you need to ask them. Make it clear that your goal is to bring value and benefits to them. You don’t know what they will say unless you ask, so just go for it! If what you are sharing is good and honest, share it confidently. Focus on how you can make a positive difference for them. If they’re not interested, that’s fine. Take back what you’ve offered, and give it to someone else!

Care Less

Caring less is also about getting over the desire for acceptance. You do not need anyone’s approval to do the right thing or to pursue success. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, including you. If someone disagrees with you, it’s not the end of the world. Their disagreement doesn’t mean they are rejecting you. They are just communicating where they are in their attitude and mindset. And always remember, when you see a negative attitude or behavior, there are roots attached to that fruit. If you are seeing negative fruit, there are probably some rotten roots. Rotten roots come from negative experiences that people choose to hold on to. So never take someone’s negativity personally, their negative behavior has nothing to do with you. 

Here is a list of people that you should care less about what they think… 

To start, you. Yes you. Care less about the negative voice in your head. Care less about your feelings of fear. Don’t let negative thoughts or emotions control your positive actions. You can do what’s right regardless of what you think or how you feel. You are stronger than your thoughts and emotions. 

Next, stop seeking approval from people that just don’t get it. If someone doesn’t have the ears to hear or the respect to really listen to what you are sharing, that’s their problem. Don’t let it be yours. You don’t need their acceptance to continue to do what’s right. 

Lastly, don’t give your peace of mind or power to negative people. Some would call them “haters” or “energy vampires”. Their negative attitude is just a reflection of their own struggles and insecurities. So let the hater hate. But do not let them be a negative influence on you. Distance yourself from toxic people and energy drainers.  

Remember, those who see things differently aren’t the ones paying your bills or putting food on your table. Politely agree to disagree and focus on surrounding yourself with supportive, uplifting people who value what you have to offer.  

Caring less means not burdening yourself with the weight of others’ judgments. Instead, channel your energy into helping and serving others. Confidently share what you have, as it may add value and make a difference in people’s lives. If someone disagrees, that’s okay.

Let’s Go!

Ok, here are a few things to remember and apply. 

You can’t be rejected by people if what you are offering is truly to benefit them. If you can’t be rejected, there should be no fear of rejection. 

Don’t give any of your peace or power to people that just don’t get it. Surround yourself with positive encouraging people that want to see you win! 

So get out there and conquer your fears by Caring More, while Caring Less!  It’ll make a difference for you and for others in a big way. We know you can do it!