Ghosting

May 7, 2024 | Personal Development

Have you ever been ghosted? Have you ever ghosted anyone? Are you unclear about what the term “ghosting” means?  

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, please read this blog. Let’s not ghost the topic of ghosting. 

We hope that this blog will help you understand why people do it, how it makes people feel, and how to deal with it.

In the ever-evolving landscape of communication, a phenomenon has emerged that leaves individuals feeling cut off and bewildered: ghosting. Ghosting is the abrupt cessation of communication without any explanation or warning, leaving the ghostee in a state of confusion and uncertainty. This practice has permeated both personal and professional realms, with instances ranging from failed relationships to opportunities vanishing into thin air.

Why Do People Ghost?

Understanding why people choose to ghost is crucial in addressing this issue. Here are just a few of the many reasons that people choose to ghost. Fear of confrontation, conflict avoidance, or a desire to avoid hurting someone’s feelings are common motivators. Overloaded schedules, unaccountability, changing priorities, or a lack of courage to say “I’m not interested” may lead individuals to choose to ghost.

While these motivations may provide temporary relief for the ghoster, the consequences for the ghostee can be severe. 

Don’t think ghosting is that common? This article states that:

  • 78% of job seekers said they have ghosted a prospective employer  
  • 62% of job seekers said they plan to ghost during future job searches  
  • 40% of job seekers said an employer had ghosted them after a second or third-round interview

So, yes, it’s happening. And it’s happening at an alarming rate.

How Does Ghosting Make People Feel?

Consider these scenarios: You’ve been getting to know someone for several weeks, enjoying each other’s company and forming a connection. Suddenly, without any warning, they stop responding to your messages and calls. Your inquiries go unanswered, and you’re left wondering what went wrong. It may even have you concerned for their well-being. Did they get in an accident? Are they ok? Did they get beamed up by aliens? Where did they go?

In a professional setting, you may experience getting ghosted after pursuing a promising job. The anticipation builds, but instead of receiving a follow-up, you are met with silence. How would that make you feel? Or, if you are a business owner looking to add a quality candidate to your team, it can feel like a waste of time when the candidate ghosts and stops communicating.

The negative impact of ghosting can be profound, often leaving mental and emotional wounds that are slow to heal. In personal relationships, it can lead to feelings of disrespect or self-doubt. The abrupt end to communication deprives individuals of closure, making it challenging to move on or understand the reasons behind the sudden silence.

Professionally, ghosting can have a detrimental effect on one’s career and reputation. Job applicants who experience ghosting after an interview may be left in the dark about their status, hindering their ability to pursue other opportunities. On the flip side, employers or hiring managers who engage in ghosting risk tarnishing their company’s image and damaging relationships with potential talent.

How Does Ghosting Make Me Look?

If you are someone that ghosts people or think that ghosting is ok, please continue reading with an open mind.

Ask yourself, do I want to come across this way?  Do I want people to think of me like this? Is this who I want to be?

Even if you are guilty of ghosting in the past, I can’t imagine that you would say that you like it when people disrespect you. So, if that is true, simply decide to improve your communication. Because ghosting, or bad communication, actually communicates a lot of negative things about you that might not even be true. 

Ghosting, whether in personal or professional contexts, reflects poorly on the ghoster. It communicates fear, weakness, lack of accountability, bad manners and a lack of respect for others. Choosing to disappear instead of continuing the conversation until there is closure damages relationships.  When a ghoster shuts down and stops communicating it shows that they have an inability to deal with the topic at hand.

It is essential to recognize that ghosting is not a solution but a temporary escape from discomfort. Dealing with challenging conversations head-on, even if uncomfortable, demonstrates maturity, empathy, and respect for others. Choosing to communicate openly, honestly, and respectfully fosters healthier relationships and promotes personal and professional growth.

So, what can be done instead of ghosting?

In personal relationships, having an open and honest conversation about feelings and concerns can provide closure and allow both parties to move forward. Similarly, in professional settings, providing feedback or updates, even if the news is not positive, demonstrates professionalism and respect.

You can do it!

Don’t Take It Personally

If you are someone who understands the importance of good communication, it can be mind-boggling why someone would choose to ghost. But please never take it personally. When someone chooses to cut off communication and ghost you, they are just showing you where they are at in their attitude, mindset, or confidence. Don’t let their fear of communication become your problem.

It is ok to attempt to seek clarity or closure but it’s also important to gracefully accept the situation and move on if someone is no longer interested in communicating with you. Building relationships based on good communication and empathy is essential for breaking the cycle of ghosting, both personally and professionally.

In conclusion, ghosting may offer a temporary escape from uncomfortable situations, but its long-term consequences far outweigh the momentary relief it provides. By choosing open communication and confronting challenges head-on, we can foster healthier relationships and ultimately create a world where we ghost ghosting.

So, moving forward, we hope that you just say, “no” to ghosting. You are so much better than that!

Always remember the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated.

11 Comments

  1. Doug Storey

    Great information on a growing concern. Thank you

    Reply
  2. Linda Tennies

    Wow. This is is so helpful! I’m one who has constantly been confused by people’s “ghosting”. I am absolutely going to make sure I never become a “ghoster”.

    Reply
  3. Kurt Lyon

    Ghosting is so mind boggling to me. I am more curious to learn more about the demographic groups of people who do ghost. Is it more specific to a generation, or is it more wide spread and if so what is so persuasive across generations and cultures that cause ghosting to be so wide spread.

    Reply
    • Mike Condensa

      Great article and insight! Thank you for the wisdom. In my opinion, Ghosting is just flat out rude! People like to take the easy and lazy road. Im so glad we associate with those who have the common sense not to ghost! !

      Reply
      • Mark Cooper

        Great topic with useful information, clarification and insight on why people ghost.

        Reply
  4. Mark Cooper

    Great topic with useful information, clarification and insight on why people ghost.

    Reply
  5. Stephen Moore

    Great information!!!
    Thank you for putting this together!
    In this digital age companies,employers, and people feel “no response ” is acceptable.
    Like you shared, it just shows lack of overall integrity.
    I’m so glad we teach good communication skills and provide tools such as your Dad’s book ” AM I making myself clear”.

    Reply
  6. Adrienne Stokley

    I guess I was raised in a different era, but I still can’t understand “ghosting” someone. This article definitely helps me understand where people who do it are coming from and have patience and grace for them… While that is the case, I am definitely teaching my kids NOT to ever ghost people!

    Reply
    • Ajit

      Superb write-up – thank you! Ghosting is a relatively new phenomenon, I have finally learnt to accept it gracefully!

      Reply
  7. John Lingnofski

    Well done, David and Jaimee. Once again, you have helped normalize a challenge we all face.

    Reply
  8. Suzie Jardine

    Thank you for this blog write up! So on target for a problem that we’ve all experienced.

    Reply

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