Your Personality is a Starting Point

May 23, 2023 | Business Development, Personal Development

Creating a better life sometimes requires building a better you. When we started our entrepreneurial journey, I didn’t have the right mindset. That lead to a little overthinking and a lot of underdoing. But, after about a year of plugging into a personal development system, being around ambitious, goal-driven leaders (who were living the life that I wanted to live)—our minds were opened, and everything changed! 

Question: Have you ever tried to marinate a frozen piece of meat?

If you have, then you’ll know that it doesn’t work. Why? The simple answer is because it’s frozen. You can have the most amazing, high-quality marinade in the world, but it can’t soak into the meat until the meat is thawed. During our first year as entrepreneurs, I was kind of like a frozen piece of meat. I was quite hard-headed and a bit hard-hearted. 

Despite being surrounded by amazing people and incredible information, all the good stuff, “the marinade”, just wasn’t soaking in. And because it wasn’t soaking in, I wasn’t changing or getting better. By continuing to plug into a personal development system and spending as much time as possible with great leaders, I finally defrosted, and the good information started to really soak in. Because we became teachable, we started to see, think, and act different. Our attitudes, focus, and commitment were all strengthened, and we started to get great results both personally and professionally. 

So, if you’re feeling a little bit like I was, it’s time for you to thaw out and let the good stuff soak in!

Simply being willing to learn, grow, and try new things can be totally life changing!

You are in control.

You know how people often say, “I’m just trying to find myself?” Sadly, that mindset doesn’t lead to a lot of growth or change. It leads to staying stuck where you are, as you are. That statement “I’m just trying to find myself” gives your power away. It gives way too much power to your circumstances, your situation, or even your past. Which by the way, none of those things should have control over who you can become and where you can go in life. We like to say, “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about building yourself and building your life into the BEST it can be!”

When it comes to growth, change, or trying new things, we’ve all heard people say, “I can’t do that because this is just who I am. This is my personality. This is just how I act.” As if we’re not allowed to learn, grow, and change. Unfortunately, the “I can’t because…” mindset is very common and extremely limiting.

We’re here to tell you that you can build yourself and your life into what you want it to be! Your personality is a starting point, not an ending point. Our hope is that this blog empowers you to make the changes you need to make to become the best version of yourself.

Know yourself.

As we plugged more into personal development, we learned about the 4 personality types from a book titled Wired That Way by Marita and Florence Littauer. The personality types included were “Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic.” The book shines a light on the fact that we all have things that come naturally to us. Sometimes those characteristics are positive, and sometimes they’re negative. The cool thing is, you don’t have to live in the box that the book defines your personality as.

We all start with our base personalities (what is in our nature). Then we get to make a choice. Stay as we are or grow into a better version of ourselves! Just because your personality leans a certain way, doesn’t mean you can’t grow and change. But before you grow yourself, it’s important to first know yourself.

When I took the test from the book, my results were primarily Choleric and Sanguine, with a little Melancholy. Once my personality traits were clear, then we worked on clarifying our goals. We wanted to have an awesome marriage, make a positive impact on others, have lots of memorable experiences, and build a business that would create plenty of provision for all our dreams and goals.

Ok, now it’s your turn! Hopefully you are feeling good and thawed out.

Here are the three things you need to know:

  1. Know yourself. What personality traits come naturally to you? 
  2. Know your goals. What do you want to accomplish? 
  3. Know that you are in control. Be willing to grow and change!

After you have clarity around these 3 things, it’s time to get to work.

Build yourself.

Take a moment and look at the picture at the top of this blog. Imagine yourself “your personality” having a giant control panel or command center. This command center has a bunch of dials, each dial linked to a different personality trait. Every personality trait can be either turned up a notch or down a notch. Being able to visualize this and realize you are in control to turn things up or down when needed will help you get along much better in life and in business.

For example, when it comes to my choleric tendencies, a few of my strengths are that I’m strong-willed, self-sufficient, and not easily discouraged. So, you bet that I’m cranking those dials up! But the weaker traits of that personality type are that I can be bossy, impatient, and sometimes come on too strong. And nobody wants those traits amplified, so I intentionally turn those dials down to sand off my rough edges so that I can get along with people better.

Then I started looking at other personality types and their positive traits and negative traits. I started to work on dialing up those positive traits in myself to become a more positive, well-rounded, happier, and more relatable person. At the same time, I learned the negative traits and made the decision to intentionally turn those down in myself.

It’s really as simple as 1. 2. 3.

  1. Know yourself. What personality traits come naturally to you? 
  2. Know your goals. What do you want to accomplish? 
  3. Know that you are in control and get to work building yourself! 

With each personality type, do the following:

Learn the strengths — Turn UP the GOOD in you!  

Learn the weaknesses — Turn DOWN the BAD in you … or maybe even turn OFF the BAD in you.

Always remember that in addition to personality trait dials, you have dials for your attitude and your emotions. If you need more energy, positivity, or focus, dial it up! If you feel negative emotions like anxiety, anger, frustration, or impatience, go to your command center, grab the controls, and dial it down. If a negative attitude or negative emotions aren’t supporting who you want to be and where you want to go, dial it down. Trust me, this works if you work it.

If you are struggling to fine tune yourself, ask your coach for help. Make sure when your coach points things out to dial up or dial down, you don’t get offended. Instead, be grateful that they are willing to help you become your best. Your coaches’ suggestions should never be taken as criticism. Being unoffendable and grateful will help you become your best! We all have blind spots but can’t see them ourselves. Find a coach to help you overcome and break through. The easier you are to coach, the better your results will be.


  1. Don’t be a frozen piece of meat — Let the good soak in.
  2. You are in control — Get to work on dialing UP the GOOD and dialing DOWN the BAD.
  3. It’s not about perfection — It’s about progression.
  4. You be you — Just be the best you that you can be.


  1. John Lingnofski

    “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about building yourself and building your life into the BEST it can be!”

  2. Mark Cooper

    Excellent reminder we “are in control” and great tips for all! Great blog.

  3. Linda Tennies

    Dial it up, dial it down, but always smilin’ and dialin’!


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